A Secret Control
by Floofeymarshmallow
Summary: Part Two: Control Verse! Sam Winchester was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa when he was fourteen, but where did it come from? A mother who never had control in her own life as a teenager? Spoilers to: The Deconstruction of Sam Winchester! Warning: Contains sensitive material, mentions of eating disorders, and character death.


**Part Two: Control Series**

* * *

It was safe to say that Mary Campbell had been raised in a strict family. She was an only child, and everything fell on her shoulders to accomplish.

When she was very young, her mother had placed in her in every beauty pageant she could get her hands on. Mary had blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes with fair skin - she was a perfect candidate.

When she got older, her father became strict. He hadn't allowed Mary to join the cheerleading squad that she had wanted to join when she entered high school. She wasn't allowed to go to homecoming dances, or even prom when she was asked by John Winchester, a cute boy that she had met through some friends. While at first she hated him, now she couldn't get her thoughts away from him.

The first day of Mary's last year of high school was the day she stopped eating. Well, she had progressively been lessening the amount of food she was eating for months, but that was the day she officially stopped.

Her parents didn't seem to notice.

They always had family dinners because that's how it was always done, but she wouldn't eat. She would just cut up her food into small pieces, make conversation on how the weather was and whatnot before scraping her food into the trash can and making her way to her bedroom to listen to her records. They were the small shreds of freedom she had.

Neither of her parents noticed the discarded food, and if they did, they never said anything.

Mary moved out of her parents house to elope with John Winchester when she was nineteen years old. They had been wanting Mary to go to a close community college to find a better husband, but when Mary announced that she already found the man she wanted to marry, they refused to allow her to see him.

"Our house, our rules," Mary's father, Samuel, had said. That was what set Mary off to elope with John.

It was after Mary allowed her parents back into her life that problems began happening again.

Mary had brought her parents back into her life because she was pregnant with her first child.

"Mary, you need to get help," her mother whispered to Mary when they were away from John and Samuel.

"What are you talking about, mom?" Mary asked.

"I know what you're doing and it's not healthy," Deanna Campbell said. "You said you're five months pregnant and you're not even showing at all. How is that baby being provided nutrients if you're not eating enough for the two of you to survive?"

"I'm eating enough nutrients, mom," Mary said. "I've been going to the doctor and I'm taking the vitamins that he's been prescribing."

"Mary..." Deanna trailed off. "I was talking to some friends of mine. I described what you've been doing to them and they said the girl I was describing could be anorexic."

"Anorexic?" Mary asked with her eyebrows raised. "Mom, girls like me don't _have_ anorexia. Girls like Karen Carpenter get anorexia. The ones who are famous and have pressures." While it hadn't been confirmed that the rock star of the Carpenters was in fact anorexic, there were plenty of rumors about this.

"No, Mary, you're not listening to me. You need to get help before you lose that baby!" Deanna exclaimed, though kept quiet enough to not disturb the men in the other room.

"Look, mom, if going to the doctor again will stop your fussing, then I'll go and ask for some tips on how to get the baby proper nutrients," Mary said.

"Thank you."

* * *

Mary went into labor early with Dean.

Well, early enough to be placed in the hospital for a few days with observation. They had been expecting him in early February, but here he was in late January. John was worried that something was terribly wrong and that they were going to lose their boy or possibly lose his wife.

Luckily, everything ended up fine. The doctor advised Mary to eat plenty of nutrients if she was planning on breastfeeding Dean, as she would lose weight while doing this, and was terribly skinny to begin with.

"Of course, I'll gain five to ten pounds and be fine, I promise," Mary said as she cradled her newborn son in her arms. She smiled lovingly at the small boy with green eyes so much like her own. "Oh, Dean, you're too precious. I won't ever let anything bad happen to you."

Dean grew up completely healthy despite being born early while his mother suffered from an eating disorder while pregnant with him. Of course, no one knew that except for Mary's mother, who was currently in the hospital.

When Dean was a year old, Mary's father, Samuel, had passed away in the hospital. He had a heart attack, which devastated the entire family. For a short while, Deanna had come to live with the Winchesters, and Mary had to watch herself around her mother, who was already suspicious about her weight loss.

When Dean was three years old, and just after Mary had found out she was pregnant with a second child, Mary's mother was in the hospital. She had fallen asleep at the wheel of her car and crashed into another driver. Deanna had been in a coma since it happened, though the other driver had recovered well with only a broken nose from hitting their steering wheel.

Mary was seven months pregnant with a four year old when she pulled the plug on her mother. The doctors said there was no longer any brain activity and that it would be easier on the family if she had done it. Eventually, John spoke with Mary and the two came to the decision that the doctors were right - it was easier for the family if they did this now.

In efforts to make things right with her family, Mary did her best to eat well during the remainder of her pregnancy. She had already eaten fine before, forcing herself after remembering how Dean was born early, and how he remained to be slightly weak, even though he was completely healthy. His immune system was really the weakest point of him. He was constantly sick as a baby, but had been beginning to grow out of it now.

Mary went into labor in the early hours of the morning. She shook John in the bed, and he was immediately up and grabbing her hospital bag. While he loaded up the car, Mary called John's business partner's wife and asked if she could meet them at the hospital and watch Dean. The wives had become friends while their husbands were working together, and would babysit for each other often. She had easily agreed, and promised to be there soon.

John grabbed Dean out of his bed, being careful not to wake him as he strapped him into his booster seat. Eventually they all made it into the car and were on their way to the hospital.

The contractions were not nearly as bad as the first time she had gone into labor. Mary reasoned this with her eating better and taking better care of this pregnancy than when she had been younger and dumber four years ago. Even though that wasn't such a long time, she still had more knowledge than she had previously.

Sam was born hours later; named after Mary's father like Dean had been named after her mother. The doctors said that Sam was in perfect health and that he didn't even need to be kept in the hospital for observation. He would be allowed to leave the next day with his mother like all the other babies did.

After Sam was born, Mary reverted to her old habits. She breastfed Sam, keeping her weight down, and continued to skip meals.

Dean often watched his mother. He found such curiosity in watching her avoid the food. She hardly even touched it in fear that the calories and grease would seep through her skin and make her fat.

Of course, being a small child, Dean didn't know that these behaviors were abnormal. He wasn't aware that people were supposed to eat regularly instead of cut their food into small bites at the dinner table and discard the scraps in the trash.

He didn't understand when his mother had fallen in the kitchen either.

Dean had rushed over to his mom, shaking her a bit. Sam was in his high chair and was screaming at the loud bang that had happened when their mother's head had hit the floor.

He had to be brave. Dean pushed a kitchen chair close by where the phone was hooked, climbing on it and calling the numbers 9-1-1, just like his mommy and daddy had taught him.

The ambulance had come to the house along with the police, who managed to get a hold of John Winchester and informed them of the situation.

John found himself sitting in a hospital waiting room with a four year old on one knee and a fussy six month old on the other.

When the doctors returned and informed John that he had lost his wife to heart failure, his whole world had shattered.

John returned home in emptiness. His wife was gone and he was left with two boys that he didn't know how to care for on his own. Sam was just a baby who was still being breastfed - Mary had been so adamant on breastfeeding both boys until at least age one.

He didn't realize it now, but Mary only wanted it that way to keep the weight off.

John didn't even remember the behaviors Mary had done. He didn't even notice it when they were actually happening.

Not until his youngest son began to do the same thing.

Sam would cut up his food into small pieces, and John remembered Mary doing the same thing.

Sam would discard the scraps in the trash, and John remembered finding them there years before.

Sam had hidden his lunches in his dresser drawers, and John remembered cleaning out Mary's to find the same thing.

He had to admit to himself and to the world that his wife had been anorexic.

And now his son was the same.


End file.
